faith, hope and love.

.

" HOPE is FAITH holding out its hand of LOVE in the dark. "

.

.

updatesss people :D

.

1. ELENA IS SEXY EIGHTEEN! for some reason, it feels so good to be legal although it doesnt make much difference. mentally, i feel hell-a-lot more matured now. lol it's soooo excitinggg. anyway, thank you everyone for the wonderful wishes, texts, calls all day long. those who took me out, thank you. last year, i was stressing for stupid add maths paper. this year, i can proudly say i rocked my 18th birthday. THANK YOU ALLL.

.

2. HAPPY HALF CENTURY DADDY! after the very emotional moment at 12am yest of dad with his mum and siblings, all i wanna say is I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAD! im the luckiest person on earth because i have you, thank you so much for everything paps! may god give you success in everything you do and many, many, MANY more years to come. we hearttt youuu. i hope you liked my gift :)

.

3. I MISS HIGH SCHOOL. after 5 science 1's reunion yest, ive come to realise that college sucks even more now. and it's not only me. LOL everyone wants to go back to school. sighh time flies. anyway, thanks suzzie for hosting the party, it was amazing. and im already missing you girls so muchh :(

.

4. *cross fingers* i hope all my patience is paying off. When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad, they have to get better. YEAYYYY! im not saying anything yet. elena is recovering a little faster from all the sick stupid mental torture. thank you, 'YOU'.

.

5. as usual, ELENA DOESNT FREAKING WANNA GO BACK TO COLLEGE TMR. however, i promise to start studying daddy. maybe like you said, i should at least try the papers. i will, god bless me. ALEVELS, ILOVEYOU :) ive been so strong going through so many things, one more wouldnt kill. elena, you can do this!

.

xoxo

her final note as a 17 year old :)

.

the day she takes her footstep into the legal world.

.

one girl. one dream. one destiny.

.

SEPTEMBER 24.

coming soon.

.

here's a little something ive posted on my blog before.it means a lot to me.

.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

Love the people who treat you right, and forgive those who don't.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

In a day, when you do not come across any problems,

you can be sure that you are travelling in the wrong path.

But believe everything happens for a reason.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,

doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If if changes your life, let it.

Never frown even when you're sad,

because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

Nobody said life would be perfect, they just promised it would be worth it.

.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

.

DON'T TRY SO HARD, THE BEST THINGS COME WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT THEM TO.

.

nobody can imagine how excited i am turning eighteen. oh dear, it's a whole new world.
ELENA'S TURNING SEXY LEGAL EIGHTEEN BABY!

.

the growing up days.
.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

LET US DO THE COUNTDOWN PEOPLE!

.

my final note to 'you'.

.

it's been a couple of months already and i've been thinking so hard everyday. it breaks my heart to think that maybe nothing was ever meant to happen. i try so hard to forget everything but as days go by, it becomes harder. and i'm finding all the strength i need to give up, not to carry on. at one point of time, everything looked so real, it was good thing changing myself for the better. but maybe we dont really get everything we wish for. like i always say, life goes on. as i turn eighteen, i tell myself i'd either make everything better or forget it all. looks like i have to take the suckier way now. everytime i make my decision, some freaking thing tells me that i should have hope. and mind you, ive been so strong you can never imagine anyone being like me. but it's a good feeling to have come this far. however, i still do not believe that at the end, the good people suffer and therefore maybe i'll be paid off in another way. i just wanted you to know that it's been so hard pretending everywhere i go and that you should have had more heart to feel this as well. it's funny how my poor blog has been so emo. LOL today's the last one i promise. it is time for me to wake up and realise that life is too short to hold on to things that do not make sense anymore. and i promised to myself that if you ever ask me anything, i will tell you everything from the very start. so yeah, the happy-go-lucky side of me needs to come back. and it only will once i get everything out of my head or if another miracle happens, for things to work out. anyway, i've gained so much of immunity through this and you always have to know where you've been, to know where you're going. up to date, so many freaking things have gone beyond my control and i try so hard to get it all back in one place but looks like im only clapping one hand. anyway, this whole situation has proved what kind of person you are or what kind of person you can be. you might have your own reasons but if you're never gonna tell me, how the hell am i supposed to understand? it's all up to you now. im turning 18, it's a whole new world like i said. and one thing for sure, God aint blind. so thats it. thank you for everything.

.

xoxo

her final note as a 17 year old :) [pt 2]

.

ELENA'S TURNING SEXY LEGAL EIGHTEEN BABY!

she's no more that small school girl. (you know 17 still is considered a schooling age)

and heck, she's more than excited. :)

.

so today, i dedicate this post to all the people who've made my 17th year an awesomely tremendous one.

there's nothing more a 17 year old girl can ask for :D
.

.

.

.
firstly to daddy, the coolest person on earth, thank you for always being my comfort zone. Through ups and downs, through good and bad, you've always been there for me and there can never be a better DAD. i love you so damn much and i promise to make you proud in every way. to mummy, i always knew God took the strength of a mountain and placed it in you. no words can describe how special you are to me. you've always been and will always be my inspiration. thank you for all your sacrifices.

diana, maybe having you after eight years was a different environment and i wasnt so happy seeing all the love for me being shared with you. but today as i'm all grown up, i can never imagine what life would be without you. so thank you for existing and i love you.

ELENA HAS A SUPERHERO FAMILIA :)
.
.

.
to the two other sexy ladies in my life.

godma, you've been the best and i am so proud to have a godmother like you. thank you so much for the guidance you've given me and for always supporting my decisions. i'm glad you're mum's sis, because i can run to you everytime i fight with her. thank you for everything.

dadima, you're my one and only grandparent and you mean the whole world to me. although i feel the presence of the rest with me, it's always different to have someone beside you sharing old stories and jokes. it's hard to find words to describe how special you are to me. i love you so much dadima.
.
.

.
SAVIRAA. my partner in crime. omg there's just so many things to say and i do not know where to begin. well, of course, thank you for existing. i dont want to imagine what life would be without having someone to share crazy moments, painful times, funny stories, every-damn-thing. you know how much i love youu. not everyone is as lucky to have a same age cousin :) phone calls, texts every damn day! LOL i think i wanna marry you :D anyway, you know how emotional i can get and i better not start here. thank you for always being there for me. I LOVEEE YOU.
.

.

.
to everyone else both mum's and dad's side, i am very VERY proud to be a part of this family. touch wood, there can never be anything else you can ask for in a family. everyone of you have made my life extraordinary and all the wonderful moments will be kept in my heart forever. thank you for everything and i love you all so much :D
.
.

.
PUSS PUSS, thank you for all the good times you put a smile on my face. noone will ever understand how it feels like to lose something you've given so much of love to in a very short period of time. thank you for all the happiness you've brought to my house, nothing will ever beat that. i miss you so much i swear. every cat reminds me of you and it's not easy. but at least, i love them all thinking of you. i know you're watching over me from somewhere up there, you're my greatest treasure. i love you.
.
.

.

here's to the awesome girls and boy who've made a difference in my life. rebecca, adopted sharma, LOL, thank you for teaching me the value of friendship in my childhood days. it feels so good having so many stories of how we grew up together. thank you for everything. jamie, carmen and annishka, thank you for making my high school life so much easier. having so many different things to do in school wasnt easy, but having you girls gave me a lot more space to do things my way. i love you all so much and i'm missing you girls heaps! yoshnee, for always pushing me through the hardest of times. you made me do things i never thought was possible. thank you also for sharing all my pain. nipun, my long lost bestie LOL, thank you for believing in me everytime i didnt believe in myself. your words of wisdom is something that will forever motivate me. thank you.
.

.

.
and here's to the guys who've added so much of spice into my life.

manloong, ganesh, bryan, sze ee, kyle, jeremy, ram, rohan, ooi, sam, naresh and darshini. thank you so much for helping me see this world in a different perspective. all our fun and laughter filled days, sometimes i wonder why i never met you guys earlier. anyhow, i appreciate every single moment we had and no other people or thing will replace any of your places in my heart.thank you also for being there for me during bad times like the stupid hospital stay. bry's car was scratched prac because of me although ganesh did it ;P honestly, i've never felt so protected or comfortable in just a bunch of guys. and it is so freaking different with all of you. i can be in the worst of days but still have so much of fun. coming from an all-girls school and ending in a group with mostly guys, it's not a common thing. Lol. you guys have certainly made my 17th year so special and so many things makes me feel like you guys are part of me already.some people make the world special by just being in it and you guys are some of them. it breaks my heart to think that one day i might have to part away. good times dont last forever. but we will all just be an email away ryte? :) it isnt easy to say this face to face, but you guys are just the most amazing people i've ever met and i love you'll to death. oh dear, emooo. it's okay. it takes one girl to bring all your ego down! you guys are more blood than water to me now. and you guys are like four leaf clovers, HARD TO FIND BUT LUCKY TO HAVE :D. so thank you very much for all the fond memories and it's my bday wish that we have many many more awesome years together.
.

IM INDEED VERY PROUD TO BE A PART OF YOUR GANG. i love you'll.
.
.

.
my awesomely hillarious tuition gang.thank you so much guys for showing me that studying doesnt neccesarily need to be stressful. all our parties, performances, tests, stupid results, practices for dancing, everything will be cherished forever. there can never be any other bunch of people who can have so much of fun studying LOL you guys are the best. thank you for all the memories. i miss you guys so badly already. none of you know how much i wanna turn back time to those form 5 days. but anyway, life goes on. as hard as it sounds, we all have to go through it right. so thank you. at least if i look back today, i can proudly say how much of fun i've had in tuition. and i dont think anyone else can say that. i love you guys so much!
.
.

.
to everyone else. my sunday school friends, sundays could never have been more fun. all our confirmation projects, i'm missing all those times. my college friends, you guys are the only reason i look forward to college days. nothing else makes me feel better in college. :) my ex-school friends,i still always recall all our fun times in school. and all the shyt we do even as prefects, LOL i miss being a school girl. and i miss all of you heaps. my temple friends, you guys have also been the best. thanks for all the great times. and finally, DBF, you people showed me the meaning of patience. being in almost every other thing in school wasnt easy, to add on to it, having a dance group. but you guys pulled me through all those suffocating moments and i'm prac still alive today because of you'll. so thank you everyone for everything. i love you guys too.
.

.
and finally, Interact and ICC. all my positions. vice prez icsmka, info officer iccpj. it's been one of the best times of my life. i know half the people today because of this and nothing can express how grateful i am having been given these chances. i carry with me so many wonderful memories of the past and half of it is due to this. thank you everyone for this amazing experience. all the ups and downs we've been through, OMG IM MISSING THOSE DAYS SO BADLY! :( anyhow i love you guys and will never forget any of those times. ily
.

.

dear Lord, i thank you with all my heart for everything i have today. like i said, there's nothing more a 17 year old girl can ask for. you've made my 17th year so special, so many wonderful things has happened to me. nowadays i feel so bad asking for more, and i want you to know that for the little things that i dont get, it's okay, you've given me everything i've asked for before this. thank you for family and friends. my life would be nothing and nowhere without them. thank you for the six miracles you granted me in just one week, my succesful scope, for helping me pass my driving test and for my new car, for 10a's in SPM, for recovery in the stupid laser and for 'the text'. thank you jesus. as i turn 18, i pray for guidance and success in all the things i do. i hope to have another awesome year. thank you. :)

.

" I WOULD THANK YOU'LL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART,

BUT FOR YOU'LL MY HEART HAS NO BOTTOM "
.

the ugly truth :)

.

" Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak,

sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. "

.

.

an hour ago, i typed this very long and bitter post. but somehow, i didnt feel like posting it so i deleted the whole damn thing. sigh. aint in the mood to bang anyone.

.

and now, i cannot freaking sleep. it's crazy how i've been going on for days with sleepless nights.

my eyebags can get into the book of world records. no joke.

anyway, two weeks of holz and life seems so perfect suddenly.

oh no, it aint because of some shit-ass stuff bugging me. i'm waiting to clear it dude!

i'll be turning sexy eighteen very soon, it's a whole new world baby!

if i dont make things better, i have to get over everything.

YOU CAN DO THIS ELENA. you have to.

that's all for now.

good night.

.

where rainbows end.

.

my life in a song.

.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry

Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me

There are days

Every now and again I pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me

.

What hurts the most, was being so close

having so much to say

watchin you walk away

Never knowing, what could have been

And not seein that lovin you

Is what I was tryin to do

.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But i'm doin it

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and i'm alone

Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

.

What hurts the most, is being so close

having so much to say

watchin you walk away

Never knowing, what could have been

And not seein that lovin you

Is what I was tryin to do

.

I'm not afraid to cry

Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me

There are days

Every now and again I pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me

.

.

my sister, my friend forever ♥ ♥

HAPPY ONE DECADE DIANA!

.

.

though i put our relationship through some cloudy days,

you've been my sunshine in so many ways.

.

.

thank you so much my sister, my friend,

my gratitude for you has no end.

.
some very, very old embarassing pics. spot diana.

.

.
the other two are me and savira. she's gonna kill me for this xD
.
.
I STILL LOVE YOU, D.
.
.
HAPPY BELATED MERDEKA, malaysians!
(the best malaysian painting i've ever seen)
.
.
xoxo