with love.

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HAPPY 23rd ANNIVERSARY

MUM AND DAD!

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may you both have many, many more amazing years to come

lotsa love.

i pray for a good february :)

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"YES YOU MADE ME STRONGER, SMARTER AND SEXIER!"

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my little prayer :)

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In every need let me come to you with humble trust saying ;

Jesus help me.

In all my doubts, perplexities and temptations ;

Jesus help me.

In hours of loneliness, weariness and trials ;

Jesus help me.

In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments, troubles and sorrows ;

Jesus help me.

When others fail me, and your Grace alone can assist me ;

Jesus help me.

When I throw myself on your tender love as a Father and Savior ;

Jesus help me.

When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good come from my efforts ;

Jesus help me.

When I feel impatient and my cross irritates me ;

Jesus help me.

When I am ill and my head and hands cannot work and I'm lonely ;

Jesus help me.

Always, always, in spite of weakness, falls and shortcomings of every kind ;

JESUS HELP ME AND NEVER FORSAKE ME.

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omggg just two hours ago i was laughing like an idiot with ming, sze ee and ganesh.

now im feeling like shyt, i feel so sick i can die anytime.

there's just too many things happening tmr.

dad's coming home, carmen's bday, my fav uncle's bday, he's not here with us anymore though.

and of course, AS results.

mixed feelings. no i just feel like an idiot now.

not everyone seems to be terrified.

ming and ganesh were laughing their butts off earlier when we spent like an hour in sze's and then a&w and then another hour in ganesh's.

well yeah i was having hell of a time also buttttt...

haih this is crazy.

i cant swallow anything now, i feel like puking, i know im not gonna sleep tonite.

what if i do real, real bad? omg?

im sure my parents arent ready to accept this because ive been producing results all this while

it's like im more afraid of what dad will say than knowing the results itself.

god made it such a way that dad's landing here just in time for the results to be out tmr.

i dont know if i should laugh or cry seriously.

im actually sweating now, and it's raining outside.

seee i knew i become weird when im stressed.

i might need them sleeping pills tonight.

my head is spinning. maybe im just tired after today.

and here i am blogging -_______-

and yes, im crapping. UGHHHH.

everyone's msn pm, well my classmates, all have something to do with tmr.

and earlier,

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nikkhil : results coming out tmr.

me : YES I KNOW NIKKHIL.

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haha im so sorry nik but really, i dont think i need anyone else reminding me.

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HELPPP?

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okay on the positive note,

I KNOW THIS ISNT THE END.

i can still work my butt off for A2.

i started college again being very, VERY positive and honestly, im lovin every moment now.

what if, well WHAT IF I MESS UP BADLY TMR and there goes all my positive vibes.

thats actually what im worried about.

first i felt like my ovaries were gonna come out, now i feel like my whole body is ripping off.

tell me im not weird.

and i just told nikkhil on msn im going nuts. and i just called him dutchead. WTF?

myheartwilldefinitelystopbeatingwhenIclickCHECKtmronline.

and you know why i can still laugh now?

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me : im scared

nikkhil : why ah?

me : BECAUSE IM GETTING MARRIED TMR. -_______-

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okay before i really faint here, i better go get some sleep. well SOME. hopefully.

i'm driving to coll tmr, yes i dont wanna kill ming on the way.

goodnightworld.

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"i'm just a little girl lost in the moment"

when you go down, downnn ;P

i like to pout, got a problem? LOL

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BREAKING NEWS.

I'M BACK IN COLLEGE! HEEEEEE.

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remember elena, stay positive.

I LOVE COLLEGE, I LOVE STUDYING. you wish!

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anyway my night was awesomee. nott.

went to bed at almost 12 and guess what, I COULD NOT FREAKING SLEEP.

so i turned here, turned there, listened to my ipod that had NO BATTERY AFTER 5 SECONDS!

sat on the bed, started scribbling some crap on a paper and sooner or later i realised it was 2am.

so i went to bed again, TURNED HERE AND THERE AGAIN, and it was 3 freaking am.

decided to text yoshnee, ming and ganesh. yoshi and ganesh must have been sleeping like pigs because they didnt reply.

and ming,

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me : DUDE I CANT FREAKING SLEEP. am i that excited for coll? geeeez

ming : you're lame.

me : THEN WHY ARE YOU AWAKE LOSER. pfffft

ming : coz your msg woke me up.

me : OOOPS.

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haha then i decided to text savira.

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me : swie are you awake?

her : why where's the fire!

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another jakun. maybe it's because everytime she'll be the one texting me at that time of the day and i'll be dead asleep. LOL cant blame her. and we went on crapping bout some gym people. and later i finished reading my CONFESSIONS OF AN AIR HOSTESS novel, stupid STUPID ending.

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it was 4am when i decided to text ganesh again, this time saying, I THINK IM STILL AWAKE. haha jesus help me! i knew his phone was on silent or he's deaf when he sleeps so yeah.

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almost 5 something, i finally went to bed, just to wake up at 6 from a HORRIFYING, TERRIFYING DREAM. well nightmare, more like it. and believe it or not, for the first time in my entire 'college-life', i was ready by 7am. and again i texted ganesh! HAHA thinking bout it, was i really that excited to go back to coll?

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in college, i realised my class was right beside the men's toilet. GREAT! actually i knew bout this earlier, but i was praying something went wrong somewhere. got an awesome place to sit with awesome people around me, just like last year. and i actually prefer this class. the toilet doesnt affect us, besides the fact we cant say we're going to toilet and then disappear for 20 minutes somewhere else haha! (it's not for me, it's for ganesh!) and somehow, i forgot that people actually freeze in college, i went with some transparent sleeveless top today, wanting to look nice and trust me, i was dying for the next 5 hours! not forgetting my eyebags thanks to the one hour sleep pfffft. btw, IT IS SO FREAKING HARD TO FIND RECEPTION IN THE NEW CLASS. suddenly it's there and suddenly it says emergency calls only, OMG? nvm maybe god is telling me, no more texting in class elena! it's been a looooong day.

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so yeah, my results will be out on the 25th. well obviously im not looking forward to it. but wtv i get, i know it's not the end. i can still work my butt off for A2, and i will. my trials are in march or april, another OMG! six months will fly just like how one year did. and im just trying to stay as positive as possible. :D :D

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'PEOPLE BELIEVE WHAT THEY WANT TO, AND SO IM GOING TO BELIEVE THAT I CAN!'

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xoxo

2010 :)

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Another year is here,

Another one to live.

Banish worry, doubt and fear,

LOVE, LAUGH AND GIVE.

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now who said i was ready to let go of 2009?!? LOL.

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holiday mode = TURNED OFF! sigh?

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am i really ready for 2010?

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resolutions ;

-be a better person ; daughter/sister/friend etc

-be a lil more serious, more than '09 definitely

-remain positive at all times

-produce good results, i've to work my butt off for A2 and no i can't complain

-be consistent in my work, no tomorrow's.

-cut down on shopping (MUST)

-donate more

-start the gym again, at least 3 times a week ( i want muscles :D )

-use the treadmill at home everyday

-complete organ, start guitar

-pray everyday

-worry less

-sort out my clothes and accesories, GEEEEZ!

-sleep less and maybe i should learn how to do some housework

-smile and make people smile

-be happy everyday unless there's really a reason to cry

-spend more time with my grandmother

-NO regretting anything i do

-decide on my career

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a lot eh?

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2009 was an amazing year.

There's definitely a cause for celebration, for the unbelieveable life i've had so far, the accomplishments and many blessings, even the hardships because they served to make me stronger.

So many wishes were granted and instead of asking for more, i should be thanking God.

thank You so much, i know for a fact that i can lose anything in this world but You. iloveyou.

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Just as gem cannot be polished without friction,

life cannot be perfected without trials.

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Every problem i had, God brought me to it and through it.

and i know that everything WILL be okay in the end, it just takes time.

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2010, i wonder what He has in store for me.

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anyway, i just thought i'd come update my blog a lil.

i havent even been here since i left for aussie, or thailand? even better.

so here it is. :D :D

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HAPPY 2010 LOVELIES!

may this year be as good or much better than the last for all of us.

(no im not greedy haha)

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xoxo